This photo has been on my mind a lot lately.
We're studying Beauty in the Broken this week in God's Word for Life, and never has that been more apparent in my life than it has this past year.
Sunday marks an anniversary I would rather forget, but that will be drilled into my memory forever.
When I look at this picture I'm reminded that this girl doesn't quite exist anymore. She's lived an entire decade this past year and overcome more obstacles than she has her entire life.
She lived through the nights of only sleeping a couple hours and driving with no destination in mind at 2AM blasting music because it was the only way to shut off her brain.
She survived the nights of staring up at the ceiling asking God why. Why me? Why this? Why now? Why, why, why?
She breathed through the days where her heart ached and her lungs felt deprived of air and she felt more dead than alive.
She searched high and low, in every crack and crevice, to find healing. She did everything she could to make something right only to realize she alone didn't have that power.
She destroyed things meant to stay and built worthless structures in their place.
She hated and hurt and mourned and shifted and changed and...kept going.
She learned to love deeper when all she felt was hate. She learned to breathe when life punched her in the gut and live when all she wanted to do was lay down and die.
She still has bad days, when the memories won't go away and her emotions run rampant and she can't quite shake that feeling of brokenness.
But to that girl--I'm proud of you. You kept going when it would have been easier just to give up. You stood up even when you were knocked down again and again and again.
You loved when it meant your heart would be shattered and loving your enemies came to life. You stayed when everything told you to run and hide.
To that girl, Sunday doesn't mean you've broken all over again. It's a reminder of how far you've come and how God truly does create beauty from the broken.
You're here, you're healing, you're living, you're still loving. And I couldn't be prouder of you.
P.S. If you're that girl (or boy), please know it does get better. There is hope for healing and you are NOT what someone else did to you. Below are some resources for sexual assault survivors.
Resources
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
National Sexual Violence Resource Center: https://www.nsvrc.org/
Joyful Heart Foundation: http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/
Victim Connect: victimconnect.org or 855-484-2846
RAINN: https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones
