I went out the other night with a friend of mine (for the sake of the story, named Sam) and one of his close friends (we'll call him John), which happens to be someone I'm interested in.
We ordered our drinks, the waitress set them down on the table in front of us when all of a sudden the cup of water slipped from his hands and went "splash!" onto my side of the table. I sat there in shock as my dress, my underclothes, and even my skin became soaked with the ice-cold water.
John quickly apologized as I laughed it off and began soaking up however much of the water I could. Unfortunately, my dress was so soaked that I had to pull it slightly above my knees along with the slip I was wearing.
I looked between the two men in front of me, red in the cheeks, and said "Please, don't look underneath the table."
Sam quickly waved it off to say "don't worry, I won't" and John looked at me apologetically and said both gently and emphatically "No, claro que no." Roughly translated, meaning No, of course not.
They both honored that for the rest of the night.
Now, to you, this story probably means absolutely nothing. You're probably like "Okay, that was thoughtful of them, so what?"
But to someone like me, who has had almost all of her boundaries violated in the past year and a half, especially physical boundaries, the promise they kept to honor both my privacy and my body, meant the world.
A lot of you probably know my story, especially if you've read the previous blog post, so you know I'm a survivor of sexual assault. The violation I experienced after going through sexual assault and then into an abusive and manipulative relationship has been tremendous. Not just physically but also mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.
But these past few months, God has been reconstructing my understanding of love. Not solely romantic love but love in general.
This is why I think about Sunday night and 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind... "Love is patient and kind...it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:4-6, ESV)
Love always honors the other person. It's not selfish, it doesn't think about pleasing itself but would rather focus on how it can honor and uplift the other person.
God is rewiring my brain on how to live with this perspective of love. Not just so that I can love others the way that God intended all along, but also so I could receive love the way He intended me to receive it. To understand that any love that does not honor and respect me, my body, my emotions, etc. is no love at all, but rather a worldly substitution for it.
I'll likely be posting more about love in later posts as I continue this journey, but for the time being, I'd like to leave you with some questions.
How do you perceive love? When loving others, do you seek to honor and respect them?
If in a relationship, do you and your partner honor each other's boundaries, bodies, emotions, convictions, etc.? If not, is God calling you to something better, whether that be transforming the relationship or moving on from it?
Feel free to comment with your responses below!
Much love,
Hannah
