We Need to Talk About...Sex?

Okay, so I just finish Dannah Gresh's What Are You Waiting For: The One Thing About Sex No One Ever Tells You About Sex.  It was incredible!  My whole perspective about sex and marriage has been changed forever.  And I thought I'd share some of what I learned with you.

For those of you that know me, your mouth has probably dropped to the floor by now.  I've always been the type of girl who couldn't even say the word sex aloud, much less talk about the subject.  Now I'm the type of girl that thinks every teenager should hear about sex...from a biblical perspective.  After all, parents, pastors and youth pastors, if you don't tell them, who will?  The world will, that's who.  And their perspective on this precious gift is a bit...well, screwed up.

So, here I go.

The first thing I learned (and probably the most powerful) is that sex is not just about a husband and wife coming together.  Sex was designed as a representative of the intimacy God desires for us.  Some of you are probably like "I knew that!" while some of you are saying "What?!"  Well, just to give you an example...

Did you know that the Hebrew word for sex is yada?  Yeah, the word we use when something is boring or dull is actually talking about intimacy.  However, did you also know that that same word is used when talking about knowing God?  Take these two verses for instance:

Adam knew [yada] his wife; and she conceived...Genesis 4:1

Be still and know [yada] that I am God...Psalm 46:10

Yada is actually translated as: to know, to be known, to be deeply respected.  So, in the same way that a husband and wife "know" each in their marriage bed, that's the same way we should be with God.  Completely transparent and open before Him.  Receiving a love that totally trumps human love any day. 

Next, I learned exactly why sex before marriage is a bad idea.  I mean, we all (by "we" I mean those who have grown up in a Christian home) have been told that we can't have sex before marriage.  When we asked why, the answer was most likely something like "Because the Bible says so" or "God wants you to save yourself for your husband".  But have you ever wondered why?  Why the Bible tells us it's wrong?  Why God wants us to wait for our husbands?  Well, this book gave me the a-ha! moment I needed to answer that one pesky little W-word.

Did you know that you can actually get addicted to a person?  Yep!  There is a chemical that washes over your brain called dopamine, which is responsible for giving you a feeling of pleasure.  Whether it's from chocolate, meth or sex, that chemical washes over your brain and makes you want more.  So, when you have sex with a person, that feeling washes over you and you become attached to that person whether you intend to or not.  So how do you think it feels when this relationship ends or when that person no longer wants to have relations with you?  It hurts.  A lot.

This kind of sex is shakab, meaning a counterfeit.  It's something we pursue to fill an emptiness (which can be filled with the divine love of our Savior) Just to give you an idea of what kind of sex this is, you should know that the word shakab is used in the passage where Lot's daughters have sex with him to preserve seed (Can you say gross?!).  Now that you know that, does having shakab sound appealing at all?

Finally (and you're probably thinking "Thank God!"), I learned that you can start over.  Unfortunately, many people are going into marriage nowadays with shame or ties to other people because of sexual sins in their past.  But just because you go into it with shame doesn't mean it has to stay that way.  God offers forgiveness and healing in ways that may seem impossible to you.

If you or someone you know if struggling with the past, know that there is hope.  Find an older, godly woman (or man, if you're a guy) and confess the past.  It's going to be painful, yes, but it will be worth it.  After that, fast and pray that God will release you from your shame and break the ties you have to the people from your past.  It will be a process, but you will be free.  You don't have to live bound with shame and regrets.

Okay, so that's a lot of information (and that was just scratching the surface!).  I wish I could tell you everything that I learned, but that would be a much, much longer blog post.  You'll just have to read the book yourself. :-)

Breaking Stereotypes.

I spent last week at Harvard University (no, I didn't get accepted or anything...I'd have to be crazy smart for that!) for a People to People Leadership Summit.  Honestly, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, especially because there would be people from all around the world there.  My crazy fear was that we wouldn't have anything in common or that they wouldn't be able to speak English (which is a stupid thought, now that I look back on it).

When I first arrived at the summit, I was overwhelmed by the different countries represented.  For the first time ever, I was in the minority.  After a while, I was assigned to my group which included 5 teenagers from Kenya, one from Brazil, one from South Korea, one from China, and four from the USA.  At this point, the cultural barriers I had set up in my head were beginning to break.

By the time, we had reached dinner that night, I realized that they weren't so different from me.  My motto began to be the same as the summit's: We are different.  We are the same.

Throughout the week, I learned so much about the world and made so many friends from different cultures.  A realization came upon me that our way of life is not the only way...people don't have to eat the things we do or speak English as a primary language for us to be friends.  By the end of the week, I had befriended people on five different continents.  And there were absolutely no barriers between us.

Stereotypes often keep us from reaching out to those in other nations.  I think we make up a number of excuses to keep us in our own little world, never allowing it to expand.  But what happened if we broke stereotypes?  If we allowed ourselves to befriend those that are a little different than us?

The truth is...we could change the world.

Who God is to Me

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed by God's goodness and mercy.  So, I thought I would make a quick post about who God is to me.

God is my...

Healer, because He's healed all of my illnesses, no matter how bad they were or how horrible I felt

Deliverer, because He delivered me from addictions, depression, a bad self-image...this list could go on and on

Savior, because He died on the cross to save me from myself and my sins; He could have sent anyone else, but He came Himself

Peace, because His Spirit floods my mind, heart and soul when I feel panicked and everything is out of control

Joy, because He restored it when I was so depressed that I couldn't even smile

Provider, because He always makes sure I have what I need (and not just what I think I need)

Best Friend, because He was there for me when no one else was

Everything, because, even though there are billions of people in this world, He cares specifically about me and loves me for who I am

Now you know who God is to me.  Who is He to you?

Good Luck at the Grammys

I remember a time where I could watch my favorite TV shows without having to worry about the things the television network would put in there.  Yes, there once was a time where I could watch Disney freely or see an awards show without seeing things that would scar my mind.

Everything has changed.

In case you're wondering, no, I'm not in favor of homosexuality.  That being said, I have no problem loving them, talking to them, etc.  I just don't agree with that aspect of their lives.  If you're sitting there calling me an ignorant bigot or hypocrite or some other insulting name right now, you may as well click exit...I'm not finished.

This whole Disney thing infuriated me.  Their defense is that they are trying to make it equal for children all across the United States.  Well, if that were true, we'd see shows about Christians or Amish or some other religion...but we don't.  No, the truth of the matter is that Disney is using their channel, a children's channel, to make a political statement.  Congratulations, Disney, you have officially stated that you support gay marriage...like we didn't know that already.

But this isn't where it stops.

Then, I read a post about one of my favorite singers who was criticized for leaving the Grammys early.  She never said why, never told anyone that it was because they were performing wedding ceremonies for gay couples along with straight couples.  She never said why she left.  Yet, every liberal for gay marriage who read that must have decided that the marriages were her reasoning.  So they went off on a long tangent about how she's a hater, needs to change her opinion, blah blah blah (we've heard it all before).

Oh, I'm loving their maturity on the matter.

The truth is that we are called haters for disagreeing with homosexuality.  It seems as though we have been called every name in the book because of our beliefs.  We choose to love homosexuals as we love straight people, and we are called the haters.  But liberals and other sorts of people can bash us and make fun of Christians for believing in Jesus Christ...oh, but they're stating their opinion, right?  Do you see what I mean?

Quite frankly, I don't care what you believe.  I know that I'm not going to change your opinion by doing the things that I do.  I just do those things for my sake.  What I do care about, however, is you throwing this "popular" (not really) opinion in my face, telling me I should agree with it.  Just like I may never be able to convince you to become a pro-life activist (another post for another time), you will never be able to convince me to be a gay rights activist.

So stop trying.

In conclusion, I just want to say congratulations to Disney...you have lost at least one viewer (judging by posts on FB, I'd say there's a lot more).  I might rent some of the old shows I used to watch from the library or maybe some Austin and Ally when it comes out, but as of right now, I will no longer watch your station like I used to.

Haters, say what you have to say, but just remember who the real hater is when you're calling me nasty names for my beliefs.  We'll see who seems more mature then.

Not Important Enough...True or Not?

The other day I was shelving several parenting books at the library I work at, and many of them were on the issue of trying to get your teenager to open up to you.  This got me thinking...first, how disrespectful kids can be towards their parents (I mean, come on, 'oh, wise ones', don't treat your parents like they know nothing). But secondly, and most importantly, how I tend to clam up when it comes to my own parents.

My reasoning for this is a little different than others' however.  Most teenagers do it because they think they know more than their parents or they simply don't want them to be a part of their lives.  Me, on the other hand, I do it because I believe they probably have more important and pressing matters than the ones going on in my own life, whether it be big or small.

I've been like that with God a lot too.  I pray for other people and what they're going through, but I clam up when it comes to my own issues because I think "Surely, there's someone out there with worse problems than me, and God shouldn't be bothered by my own trivial problems."  I tend to think that God doesn't want to hear about the things going on in my life.

But, as He's been teaching me lately, God cares about my life so, so much.  And He cares about your life too.  1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care about Him; for He careth for you."  He loves us much more than we think, and He wants to hear what's going on, including the heartaches and hurts we go through.  If we clam up with him, then there can't be any healing for our wounds.

I have made a pact with myself, and I am determined that, from now on, I will be open with Him, and not try to hide anything from Him.  Even if I tried, He sees everything about me...it's better that I admit it before Him.

So what about you?  Are you open and honest with God or do you tend to think He has more important things to do?  Remember that God sees even the sparrow and knows how many hairs are on your head.  So why wouldn't He want to hear about your life?  Open up to Him today, and allow Him to show you just how much He cares.

Heard By My King,
Hannah Elizabeth

Don't Put It In A Bottle

If I'm being honest here, the past few months have been hard...no, I'm not saying that I hate my life or that my problems are worse than anyone else's because, honestly, my problems probably rate at the bottom.  Nevertheless, it had included heartbreak and a LOT of stress.

There was one particular heartbreak that affected me more than I thought...which included a guy.  I'm not going to go into detail, but I will say that we liked each other, and then without any warning, I was ignored and had to make the decision to step back from the relationship (although we weren't actually dating or anything).  I'm not saying it was completely his fault because I'm sure I had a part in the breakup of our friendship too.  However, it still hurt and tears were shed (well, I'm a teenage girl, what do you expect?).

During the past months, I have surrounded myself with friends and moved on fairly well.  I even have a crush on someone else (but no names will be mentioned, lol).  However, I was still hurting, and still having issues of trust due to the previous relationship.  But I was ignoring it and hiding it...from my family, my friends, and even myself.  Only God really saw how broken my heart was.

On top of that, I had been under a lot of stress the past few weeks due to tests and just plain pressure...I'm growing up, and realizing that life isn't easy, and there are a lot of responsibilities that come along with growing up.

Today, I got into an argument with my mom (arguments like this very rarely happen between us, but it still happened...) about something that probably wouldn't have mattered a few hours.  Usually, I would have walked away to cool down.  This time, however, I couldn't stop the stream of tears and the sob that came.  For the next half hour, I cried my eyes out.  I didn't even know why.  Eventually, my mom followed me back to my room where I had gone to take a nap.  There, we talked for a while, and she asked me what was wrong.  What was really wrong with me, that is...I usually would never respond like this.  After simply whispering "I don't know", I finally told her, "It's been a rough few months that's all".

Then she told me that she thought I wasn't completely over that relationship yet, despite the fact I hide it well.    It was in that moment that I realized she was right...I had fooled everyone, including myself, to believing that I was completely okay and that it didn't matter to me anymore.  But it did matter and God knew that.  I finally came to a point where I couldn't deny the hurt, and I needed to things go, so God could start really healing me, instead of me covering it up.

My point?  Don't bottle things up inside.  Sometimes we allow pride to get in our way, and we don't open up to others or even to God about our hurt or our situations.  But I'm pretty sure that God designed us to open up.  He can't completely heal us if we deny that we are broken and need His touch so desperately.  If we continue to withhold ourselves, there will come a time where we will explode, and it may not allows be in a bedroom where your mother is comforting you.  It may be in our workplace, at church, or some other place which would not be ideal.

So what are you hiding in a bottle?  Let it go now, and allow God to heal you.  Then, leave Him to do the work in you that He's been wanting to do for a while.  You'll eventually wake up one day and realize your healing is complete.

With A Broken Heart and Healing,
Hannah Elizabeth

Random Facts About This Paper Heart

Okay, so it has occurred to me that some of those who read this do not actually know me personally.  So, in an effort to reveal a little bit about myself, I thought I would share some random facts about myself.  Here you go!


First and Middle Name: Hannah Elizabeth (Hannah meaning grace and Elizabeth meaning devoted to God).  Interesting Fact about my name-my initials spell HER.

Favorite Color: Blue-any shade!

Favorite Music: Contemporary Christian-not so much hard rock or rap though

Favorite Band: Anthem Lights, of course! ;)

Two Favorite Boy Names: Caleb and Joshua-ironically, these are the two out of twelve spies that came back with a good report

Two Favorite Girl Names: McKenzie and Abigail

What Career I Want to Pursue When I'm Older: I would like to be a teacher, especially an elementary teacher, but I'm willing to go into secondary or high school education also

Three Places I Would Like to Visit: Just three?  Well, I guess I'll go with Australia, England, and the Caribbean...but I would love to travel the entire world if I could!!  :)

Favorite TV Show: That would be between Psych and Grimm.  Psych carries a lighter, more comedic mood, whereas Grimm carries a somewhat darker, yet intriguing disposition

Favorite Movie: Yikes!  I don't think I have one, but I do love things like October Baby and Courageous, but at the same time, things like Leap Year and Letters to Juliet, and then there's...well, I'm just a clean movie freak, and I'll leave it at that...

Favorite Book (other than the Bible): Probably the Hawk and the Jewel by Lori Wick...there are so many other good books, but this story has me coming back after two times still amazed at the beautiful love story between Brandon and Sunny.

Do I have any siblings: Yes, I have a younger sister and brother.  I'm the oldest.

Favorite Book of the Bible:  Man, that's a hard one!!  I love the stories, such as Esther and in Genesis, but I also love the poetic books, such as Psalms and Proverbs, and then there's the book of Romans...okay, I love the entire book!


There are so many other facts I share about myself, but I doubt you're that intrigued that I should go on, lol.  I hope this helped you learn a little bit about me, and if not, then just comment and leave your questions there.  :)

See You Later!
Hannah Elizabeth